At the end of 2023, I discovered a very powerful way of praying in the middle of the night when I was lamenting for my teenage daughter Nina. I have been praying and fasting for her over many years yet there are ongoing challenges in her growing up. It’s easy for others to judge us and say, “It’s because of a broken family, so she is like this… …” This is the least empathetic comment of a shallow-minded person who lives a rosy life. Sadly, Nina is not welcome in most of the places, not in people’s houses, not for holidays or outings, not among her peers… A single mother with a special child with double spectra of ADHD and Dyslexia is indeed a triple burden. No matter how difficult it is, I would never give up on her!

One night, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep because of the accelerating problems that we both faced. I went to the back room, sat on the floor, and started to cry out loudly to God! It wasn’t just crying, but it was a desperate wailing to God and praying non-stop for 2 hours at midnight! I was praying earnestly in asking God to open her heart, to heal all her brokenness, the hurts, the rejection, to remove all her fears and anxieties, to restore her, to fill her with the perfect love of God, to provide for her needs, to change her, to give her a chance to live a normal life, to transform her... It’s a very long prayer in tears asking for a breakthrough in my child! I asked God to give me more strength and wisdom to raise this child that He has given to me. She didn’t choose who she is, to be born in this broken family, carrying the DNA that she didn’t choose. She is innocent! The pains and agonies of raising a special child on my own while overcoming the grief of my late son over the past 14 years are beyond words that can be described. I cried, I wailed, and I prayed…..until I was convinced that God had heard me. Then, I returned to bed and said “I love you, Jesus”. I fell asleep immediately. On the night before we went to a youth camp, I woke up at midnight and wailed out loudly again to God. It’s not because I had nothing to do, but because we were in a storm.

On the bus journey to the youth camp, I was listening to the song “Father We Declare” repeatedly and kept on singing in my heart with tears around my eyes:

     Father we declare that we love You

     We declare our everlasting love for You

Since Nina is extremely fearful to do anything on her own and has closed up herself from many things, I decided to sacrifice all the other commitments and took time off to join the 4-day MAD (Make A Difference) youth camp as a helper. I was in awe when I saw the vibrant 19-years-old youths leading in front, sharing the Words of God, conducting object lessons that connect to the youth, leading worship, and most importantly caring for every team member like their own brothers and sisters even some of them just met in the camp. 

Beyond all these, I saw the unmatchable favours of God upon Nina! What? Yes, indeed!! She is chosen, she is loved, she is being taken care of, and she is heard. Nina had been left out and left behind for several years, but now she is chosen in the camp, including the object lesson. She had been rejected by friends and schools, but now she makes more friends in the camp than I expected. She had stopped sharing her feelings, but now she openly shares her unheard hurts, not only during camp, but she continues to share with me after the camp. She had lost her trust and faith in God, but now she starts to think about the goodness of God who has blessed her, especially with a loving and persevering mother who loves her and never gives up on her. Since then, she would tell me “I love you Mama” every day! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Glory to God!

Our God is neither a deaf nor mute God. He is a God who hears us and asnwers us. If you are desperate enough to keep on asking God continuously without giving up halfway, He will surely answer your heart-cry prayer at His perfect time for your life. In the parable of the persistent widow, even an unjust judge would grant justice to a persistent widow. How much more of our sovereign and merciful God who loves us to the extent of sacrificing His only Son to redeem us! “And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily…” (Luke 18:7-8)

Let’s declare our everlasting love to our Heavenly Father in this song Father We Declare.